Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Literally Malapropary

John Gardner’s Dictionary of Modern Usage lists a series of “vogue words” (pg.682) that include expressions such as bottom line and lifestyle and worst-case scenario” In fact, he could have extended the list to include a few hundred additional lexical trendyisms. I mean if we dialogue in any given environment, we’d all interface in a meaningful way, right? It’s a no-brainer, a win-win situation whose parameters would resonate with a synergy that would definitely impact our cutting-edge society in a constructive way.

Darn! He didn’t include literally on the list. Oh, well. I’ll just fill that one in here. And, now, fresh from the medium of television, some literally unliteral lexical malapropisms:

When I heard the news, it literally blew my mind. (And yet she continues to sit up and speak.)

It’s a literal can of worms. (In Washington? Okay, maybe it is.)

Looking out over the desert, it’s a literal ocean of sand. (Well, I guess this could pass as a metaphor; but, I say an ocean should remain an ocean and a desert should remain a desert.)

The crowd was silent, literally crying, “Foul!” (Some trick.)

He’s so awesome, I was like literally dying. (And then what happened?)

“There’s a pool of blood under the tarp literally covering the body.” (Those tarps are always so literal.)

The audience literally walked out of the auditorium. (How would you suggest that they walk out?)

Why don't I avoid regular television programming? (Literally speaking, of course.)